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"Have you had a talk with yourself to say, 'Am I comfortable with kissing somebody, holding their hand, undressing to a certain level, caressing? These are decisions you need to make ahead of time -- not when you're in the middle of a make-out session and your date is pressuring you to go further.

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"Any time you open yourself to somebody, whether it's emotionally or physiy, and then they reject you -- it's going to hurt," Gowen says. Don't base your readiness to date on what your friends are doing. "You have to share some common interests," Gowen says.

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"The motivation to be drawn to this person is based on who they are as an individual ... If you're not totally sure about this person, ask yourself if it's worth getting into the relationship.

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Once you know your limits, you need to be strong and secure enough to say "no" or "stop" if things are getting too hot and heavy.The ultimate dating questionnaire -


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